Red Sox Nation East....Way East

If there's a downside to leaving the states for a soccer-loving country like Macedonia in late September, it's missing the baseball pennant race. This wouldn't be a problem, of course, if we were from Pittsburgh or Oakland (or if we were Dodgers fans....sorry Pa Kearney and Grandpa Kimes), but we live in New England, in the epicenter of baseball fanaticism, where people are more likely to know more about the leadoff hitter than their neighbor. I'm talking of course about Red Sox Nation and our team has the best record in baseball. Without the benefit of our beloved NESN on which to watch the Sox, we'll be reduced to watching choppy highlights on ESPN.com, narrated by some smarmy, smug anchor. Boo-yah!

But before I write this off, before I give up hope of ever seeing a Sox hat or Manny t-shirt for the next 27 months, maybe there's an opportunity here. Who better to bring baseball to the Macedonians than the newly minted "America's Team?" I mean, have the former Yugoslavians ever seen Big Papi swing the bat? And let's face it, J.D. Drew sucks in any language.

Ok, so maybe it's too much, too soon, to expect our host family to understand the intricacies of the suicide squeeze in time for this October. By next April, I need only to translate and explain the following five rules to understanding baseball in Red Sox Nation:

1. Kevin Youkilis isn't Greek, he's Jewish.
2. Don't even ask about "Sox Appeal."
3. A-Rod usually refers to Macedonia as the Former Yugoslav Republic of.
4. That "Tito" you keep hearing about is the manager, Terry Francona.
5. If you didn't install a satellite dish to watch Manny's batting helmet fly off as he rounds first, then why did you?

Now find us a bar in Skopje that serves Sam Adams....